I Over Reacted Again!

Last night was not good! DD, DS and I went to the store after school. I picked up ice cream sandwiches for dd, for school (her reward for her behaviours). We get home and she was angry, because I had also picked up a game for the family and she didn't like it, and wanted me to buy her another one. I told her that no, the other game is for younger kids, and I didn't want to get it at this time (way more expensive too). DS and I had an ice cream bar, as she had one right after school and DS didn't. Well, she was mad about that too. It just escalated from there! I could not get her to sit for a time out, and then I tried to have her stay in her room too. She started kicking the wall, me, throwing things. I tried holding her for a time out (a trick that used to work, but not any more, she is too strong for that now), and I admit that I did spank her.

To top it off, she ran out the door without her shoes! Thankfully my friend down the street knows what we are dealing with, and she sent Sam walking back my way. Did I do the right thing?? NO! Did she do the right things?? NO!! I regret over reacting to it, but man it got so frustrating! I had those stupid thoughts too! You know the ones: "If only I didn't have her as a child, or if only she did run away" Man do I feel awful for thinking those things! I love her to death!! I would never want her to leave/run away!

Oh and the meds, I don't know if they are the right ones. She was up till 11pm last night! She could not sleep at all. She didn't even take the meds this morning. She couldn't swallow them, and I figured it was not the fight that I wanted then. Thankfully the doctor's office called, and I told the secretary what was going on. The doctor is going to be calling at some point soon, so hopefully she will have some info for me (new drugs or ways of Sam swallowing the drugs that she has...I just don't know). I was praying that the first drug would be the right one, but now I'm praying that we just find the right drug quickly. I know that we may need to try out a few things to find the right one, but I don't want to be doing this forever. We all need a break! DD needs to be able to see how much the meds can help her.... ugghhh... is how I feel.

Off to find out when the doctor may call, and then maybe head to the store for a break from the house.